(cont.) over this hurts so much. I wish she would accept me as I am and recognise that I'm still the same person and that I need her just as much as I always have. I can't stop crying, I love her so much and I have other friends but they're not the same, even though some of them are really great. I don't know what to do, and even though I KNOW it isn't it feels like it's somehow my fault and that I should be better.

I’m sorry to hear things have been so rough :( Coming out is a courageous thing to do, and it’s really rough when the people you hoped would stay closest by your side are responding in ambiguous and confusing ways. I think if you’ve been direct to her that you’re still the same person, that you value her friendship as much as ever, you’ve done what you can. The rest is maturing and self-education that she is ultimately responsible to achieve. I can’t shout it out loud enough that you are not ‘at fault’ and that you DO deserve good friendships! The fear of losing a key relationship in your life is an awful one- I really empathize- but the most important thing of all by far is to only foster relationships in life that are truly, consistently positive, respectful and loving. If she doesn’t grow and show acceptance, as crappy and scary as that type of loss is, I really do assure you that it is in fact an opening for HQ new relationships that support your growth as an individual. Hope that somewhat helps.

What's the ages of most of your visitors? I know it's for under 26s but I'm in my early twenties, so I'd feel weird hanging out with mostly teenagers (if only because I've finished schooling and don't study, so I wouldn't expect we'd have much in common in terms of life stuff). Thanks for all the hard work, I really love your tumblr!

Hello there! :)

It’s actually hard to pinpoint what our average visitor age would be, but I can assure you that we have pllleeeennnttyyy of post high school/early 20’s visitors, and their lives are pretty diverse- certainly not all of them are doing the studying thing. And like, this group is certainly not a minority in the centre. I don’t want to just make up statistics and chuck them at you, but I would honestly estimate that around half of our visitors would be out of their teens; maybe a bit more or a bit less.

And thankyou so much for the praise *^_^* It makes our online endeavours extra fun. See you soon hopefully!

I really want to come to one of the sessions but I'm worried I won't fit in - I also don't know how to come without my parents knowing!! I don't want to lie to them but I also don't want to tell them anything at this point... advice?

Hello there!

A lot of visitors have had that worry initially, so we hear you. Be assured though that Freedom Centre’s staff, volunteers and visitors are both a very diverse and very accepting bunch- and we strive to make this an accepting, laidback place. So don’t let THAT stop you! :)

If you’re trying to find a happy middle ground that involves not revealing all but also not lying, you could mention to your parents that you’re just going to a youth centre/youth drop-in space to hang out and make new friends- we ARE a youth drop-in space and we do aim to help our visitors achieve those things, so there’s nothing inaccurate about the statement ^_*

Hoping to meet you soon, Anonymous!


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support nonbinary people who aren’t completely androgynous

support femme trans men

support butch trans women

just because someone doesn’t fit into the stereotype of their identity doesn’t mean they aren’t valid

I relate to this on such a deep level

This is super important!!!

Interesting article, worth the read!

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hi! so the mods here at qla have decided that since not all our readers are native english speakers, it would be in everyone’s best interests to start a collection of gender-neutral pronouns across all languages. if you don’t see your language or pronouns on the list (within reason, for accessibility purposes we can’t include every english variant of a pronoun), please let us know and include conjugations if possible! thank you!

for further expansions on grammar you can check the posts in the pronoun project tag:)

arabic ( عربي )

  • هما (they, originally dual, can work as a neutral singular third person)
  • انتما  (second person dual)

bulgarian (български език)

  • те/тях/техен/им (generally used for a group of people, could be used as singular as in “they”)
  • то/него/негово/му (means “it”, informal)

chinese (中文)

  • mandarin/普通话:  他 or 她 (tā) - only the pronunciation is gender-neutral unfortunately, the characters are gendered
  • cantonese/广州话: 佢 (keoi5/keúih) - them/him/her/it
  • 它 - also tā, but means “it”. ask before using as it could be derogatory
  • 牠 - ta1, used for non-human animals
  • add 們 (men) to either for plural, add 的 (de) to make it possessive
  • 那个人 (simplified) 那個人 (traditional) (na4ge4ren2- that person) and 这个人 (simplified) 這個人 (traditional) (zhe4ge4ren2- this person)


  • onikání, which was used in the past as gender-neutral pronoun when refering to someone of lesser status. it’s oni/je/jejich/se they/them/their/themself and the use is: Oni jsou moc milým člověkem. - They are a very nice person.


  • de/dem/deres
  • hen/hen/hens


  • zij/hen/hun
  • ze/hun/ze - (note: literal translation of they, but ze is often used as “she”)


  • they/them/theirs
  • ze/zem/zeirs
  • xe/xem/xeirs (xyr)
  • hir/hirs/hirself
  • spivak: e/em/eir


  • ri
  • Ŝli - combination of he/she, generally used like “they” in english

estonian/eesti keel

  • tema/teda/tema (formal)
  • ta/teda/tema


  • او

finnish/suomen kieli

  • se/sen (means it, informal)
  • hän/hänen (formal)

french/le français

  • ol/mo - ex: ol s’appelle Bidule et c’est mo pote.
  • ille (referring to oneself), ceulle (referring to someone else)
  • eux (sometimes used as a subject-position instead of object-position)


  • ის / იმან / იმის (is / iman / imis) = they / them / their


  • xier/xieser/dier
  • xier/xies/xiem/xien
  • sie_er
  • er_sie
  • sier
  • es
  • sie_r
  • si_er
  • x
  • sie*
  • er*


  • αυτοί / εκείνοι ( are these the ones that mean it?? let me know so i can take them down)
  • αυτ@, εκείν@ (singular) φίλ@ς (plural) - not pronounceable, good for writing though


  • there aren’t actually any gender neutral pronouns in hebrew sadly. the first set is all male pronouns and the second one is all female. like the word ze (זה) is male for ‘it’ and it has a female form which is ‘zo’ (זו). atzmam (עצמם) is plural male (but it is used sometimes as neutral tbh). also the second set is only female pronouns for she, her, hers and herself

    also about the plurals, you need to add either ם or ן to make these words plural either in a male or female form,  like the plural words aren’t actual words it needs to be עצמם\שלהם\אותם\הם and it’s the male form you just need to replace it with ן to make it female but people use these as gender neutral pretty often because that’s the closest you would get


  • hín/hín/híni/híns
  • hé/hé/hé/hés
  • það - equivalent of “it”, ask before using, could be derogatory
  • hán/hán/háni/háns - mix of binary pronouns
  • when referring to an individual of an unspecified gender, use viðkomandi instead of hann/hún

ilokano/Ti Pagsasao nga Iloko

  • isuna (singular they), na (singular their), kaniana/kenkuana (singular theirs), isuda (plural they), da (plural their), kaniada/kadakuwada (plural theirs)

indonesian/bahasa indonesia

  • dia (third person singular), mereka (third person plural)


  • sibh/siad


  • ????

latvian/latviešu valoda/lettish

  • viņi/viņu/viņiem

lithuanian/lietuvių kalba

  • Jie/Jų/Jiems/Juos/Jais/Juose

malay/bahasa melayu/bahasa malaysia

  • dia


  • wiya


  • dem/dem/deres
  • hen/hen(henom)/hens(henoms)
  • hin/hin/hins
  • sir/sir/sirs

portuguese/lingua portuguesa/português

  • el@/del@
  • elx/delx
  • elæ/delæ


  • all pronouns are neutral (he/she: “uha usa” or ਉਹ ਉਸ; him/her: “usa” or “usanū” which is ਉਸ or ਉਸਨੂੰ; his/hers: “usadā” or ਉਸਦਾ). also, the pronouns “he” & “she” in english both translate to “vah” (वह) in hindi. however, the rest of the pronouns are gendered. verbs are also generally gendered.

russian/ру́сский язы́к

  •  ох/ех/ех/ем/их/ниx

slovak/slovenský jazyk

  • oni/nich/im/ich/nimi


  • oni/z njimi/njim (they/with them/to them). Now if you want to say: I want to help them - you don’t use ‘njim’ but ‘jim’. (Želim jim pomagati; Pomagati jim želim.)


  • Pronouns that can be written and pronounced:

    • Ella/la/-a (binary feminine): “Ella es la niña linda”
    • Él/el/-o (binary masculine): “Él es el niño lindo”
    • Elle/le/-e (neutral): “Elle es le niñe linde”
    • Ello/lo/-o (neutral, similarly to the english ‘it’ can be very offensive so please be careful and don’t use it unless you are told to do so): “Ello es lo niño lindo”
    • Elli/li/-i (neutral, cacophonic and uncommon): “Elli es li niñi lindi”
    • Ellu/lu/-u (neutral, cacophonic and uncommon): “Ellu es lu niñu lindu”

    Pronouns that can be written but not pronounced:

    • Ellx/lx/-x: “Ellx es lx chicx lindx” (I don’t know who told you otherwise, but this can be used by both poc and white folks)
    • Ell*/l*/-*: “Ell* es l* niñ* lind*”
    • Ell@/l@/-@: “Ell@ es l@ niñ@ lind@”
    • Ell_/l_/-_: “Ell_ es l_ niñ_ lind_”
    • Ellæ/læ/-æ: “Ellæ es læ niñæ lindæ”


  • hen/hen(henom)/hens(henoms) - variations are in parentheses, gender-neutral third person personal pronouns
  • den/den/dens (dess) (means ‘it’)
  • de/dem (dom)/deras


  • Singular/Plural siya/sila (they) niya/nila (them/their) (sa) kanya/(sa) kanila (theirs/preposition them)


  • o/onlar

welsh/cymraeg/y gymraeg

  • nhw/nhw/eu

OMG <3 !!!!!